I have grown a beard.
Not a goatee, or a chinstrap, or an exaggerated set of mutton chops, a full-on beard. A Vollbart as they would say in Germany.
I am channelling my inner viking.
Unfortunately my inner viking was still the 5' 6", scrawny weakling of the tribe who avoided confrontation and fainted at the sight of blood.
He was probably called Snorri or something like that. Did the women's work.
I still dream of axes.